Insomnia

I wrote this in office (I didn't have much work that day). I came to office after hardly two hours of sleep. It was weird because I'm always a heavy sleeper. But because of some reason i did not sleep for long. After spending a few hours idle in office I thought, Why not? So here it is, the way it was written. Just edited to remove a few grammatical mistakes.

I don’t know what time I woke up this morning. It’s hard to say. When you need so much sleep, you don’t remember much. I know I woke up because I remember going to bed. Sometime early in the morning.

I don’t know how long I slept. But I know I did sleep. I know because it was one of those sleep modes where you have a dream. Its funny when you have a dream. You forget most of it during the first few moments you are awake. And just the mood you have been left in, lingers on. I get the weirdest of all dreams. I guess weird dreams are quiet normal. People don’t talk about those ‘cause they’re weird and they just forget about it. This one was weird. I remember all that. How could I not remember when I woke up, or what I did?

I do remember reading the papers. I do not remember the news or the comics. How sure can I be that I really read the papers? What if it was yesterday’s memory? Or did I just imagine all that in my head now? I remember having breakfast today. I do remember taking a shower. But somehow it seems so distant. Its like something in the past. I mean its like recovering from amnesia. You know its recent because there’s not much between that and the present. Isn’t memory relative? Isn’t it?

I need that sleep badly. Here I am sitting in my cubicle. Why didn’t I take a leave? What were I thinking? Were I thinking at all? Or Were I reacting according to my conditioning? Should I test myself? Think. Think hard. Think of a childhood memory. You know you should. But you don’t want to put in the effort to dig up a memory. Too lazy for it. You know, the biggest problem with not having enough sleep? You never really know if you are truly awake or if it’s all a dream. Wait. I heard that somewhere before. There. Isn’t that an old memory?

Now let me sleep.